2023 Lessons In Building

Hey fam! Well, 2023 is coming to a close and as a teacher, artist, and (most importantly) daughter of the King, reflexivity is really important to me. Check out the first paragraph in this article to learn more about this concept (https://learningforsustainability.net/reflective-practice/).

As a member of this community and builder among fellow builders, I wanted to share some things I’ve learned while building this work and creating space, materials, and programs for people. I hope it’s useful and encourages you to keep building.

Lesson 1: My audience changed and I didn’t realize it.

When I first started this work (2015), I was talking to people who needed to understand that their faith and art could work together and that they didn’t need to be separated to be able to thrive. This season was mainly about creating resources that encouraged and gave artists information. But through recent conversations with artists (past 1-2 years), I’ve slowly realized they have evolved and need different things. Instead of more information or resources (which I’m really good at creating and providing), they now needed support, encouragement, and community as they walked these ideas out (an area I’m daily growing stronger in). 

I learned our work may start off looking and functioning one way, but it is a dynamic organism that shifts and changes. This has required me to learn new skills and ways of working. It’s stretched me and pulled me into uncomfortable places. And it’s made me have to learn how to be responsible, consistent, and reliable in big areas of weakness. If you’ve been with me, you’ve seen me try and fail, start things and fail to follow through in this process many times. But there has been growth and overall, it continues to be an uncomfortably good adventure.

So you can’t create work and go to sleep—especially if you are building a space others will occupy. Everything evolves—you, the work, the people, and the world.

Lesson 2: It’s not always in the new. Sometimes (more times than you think), it’s in the deeper.

All I knew myself as was a creator—a teacher and generator of content. And that is all I thought I had to offer the artists that were assembling around this work. When they evolved and were seeking something other than more content, I didn’t know what to do. Nor did I think I knew what to say to them in the place they now were. I didn’t know what our relationship was in this new place and what my role was in that relationship.

But I also didn’t see that I evolved alongside them, that the things that were stirring in my heart and the expansions in my understanding and perspective were things that would serve them in this new place. The Lord had to show me that. 

Sometimes we need the Lord to show us that He’s actually increased our capacity in preparation for what is now before us.

I had to learn what it meant to serve artists in this new place. Instead of being a person relaying information from a distance, I had to learn how to be an up-close consistent presence. My role had evolved from exhorter to supporter and journeyman.

I had to let the Lord shift some of the ways I thought about myself. I had to learn what things were truly valuable here. This was interesting. One example is that I didn’t think I could repeat things. I didn’t think artists would find repetition valuable because I thought the thing they found value in was the information itself. So if I wasn’t constantly bringing new information, what reason was there for artists to come back? And I have always distanced myself because I didn’t want to get in the way of the information. Boy—was that a HUGE change I needed to make in my perspective. 

The value in the deeper didn’t finally hit until recently. As you know, we do 3-month cohorts of our Kingdom Art Life Course. At the end of our last cohort, the artists said they would love a 12-month version. I said, “Don’t play because I have one ready to pilot.” But they were serious and we did a year going over the same material. When we finished the year, they still wanted to keep meeting. So we still do. And on one of our meetings, one of them said they could go through the same material for another year and the others agreed. They even suggested other ways to repurpose the same material that would help them in different contexts. 

And it was here that I began to realize what my role would look like in this new place, which was to support artists as they implemented the principles in the content God gave us.

I have found that the Lord reveals vision progressively and He has us build out that vision in parts. This means we have to hold everything with an open hand. We may build a part and think that part is for a particular thing and is to be used in a particular way. But the reality is the nature of that part will change as more and more of the vision unfolds and is implemented. This applies to us as well as we may take space differently in unfolding seasons of the same vision.

Lesson 3: Posture and perspective affect everything

I was operating in the wrong posture for a long time, and it was causing me to work against myself. I started KAI from a posture of sharing. Nobody knew who I was or cared I was there. Somewhere along the way, though, my posture changed to one of trying to convince.

Instead of simply telling artists what the work was and letting them decide if it was for them or not, I focused on trying to convince artists that this work would be worth their time. And you can only guess where that led me. Of course, very little—if anything—seemed compelling enough to put out into the world. I wasted so much time redoing things and picking over insignificant details that didn’t matter at all. I was always obsessing about the way things looked. Presenting something in excellence definitely has its place but I was way past that. 

The insecurity-driven compulsion to convince has cost me a lot in opportunity, time, progress, and probably in money. I was stuck. I didn’t even realize that I was looking at things through the lens of insecurity and that insecurity was driving so many of the choices I was making. And it took me a long time to be able to see differently. Eventually, I began to recognize when I was relapsing—when I would hide, stall, and just plain refuse to put things out into the world because it didn’t feel interesting enough. I didn’t feel interesting. 

I didn’t recognize the places I was creating the outcome and then using that outcome as evidence for the crappy things I thought. I was too insecure to move forward on really cool ideas. Things were never ready enough to be compelling so I didn’t put them out. And because I was focused on getting them ready (and they were never “ready”), I wasn’t being present or visible.  I wasn't showing up anywhere or sharing the work so there was nothing for people to engage with. And I interpreted that to mean people weren’t interested in what I had to offer and worse, that I had nothing to offer.

Man—HUGE lesson here. I realized how much I’ve grossly underestimated the power and influence of the mind. I think of Romans 12:2 which talks about renewing your mind so that you may bring evidence to what the Lord has put in you. I always thought mindset stuff was woo-woo. But I have learned that your mind—how you see things, how you see yourself—will either empower or inhibit your willingness to move forward in what has been put in your heart. The capacity and ability are there. But if you’re not careful, the mind will keep you imprisoned right where you stand.

Lesson 4: Systems affect progress

Learning how to put systems in place has been a huge priority for me in 2023. I have seen the cost of not having them set up. I needed to figure out a way to use systems to help me achieve the things I wanted to do consistently and reliably.

One example is the podcast. I have wanted to make more episodes for a long time. But with my changing schedule—and let’s be honest: the energy is not what it used to be—I could no longer just fly by the seat of my pants, a mode of working that used to be quite successful. 

I had to figure out a process for generating episode ideas. I had to assess the most productive time of day for me to write and protect that time. I had to learn how to batch-record episodes so I wasn’t having to set up this work every week. I had to learn what I needed to put in place so I could record in batches—something I’m still working on. There are processes I am learning to put in place to help me do the things I need and want to do that require me to be consistent and repeat steps. 

So if you find yourself struggling to produce things at the pace you want, maybe it’s a systems issue. If it is systems, it would be helpful to think through all the things that are needed, all the steps involved in getting that thing done and create processes that will help you weather time, low energy and motivation, and more. I’m still refining mine (I guess they’ll always be dynamic because life is dynamic) but I have seen significant differences in the changes I’ve made so far.

These are four huge lessons I learned in 2023. And I have one bonus, which is not a lesson but a series of actions I took.

And One Action…

Each of us has a list of things that keep us from moving forward. They range from legitimate hurdles to downright silly and hilarious irrationalities. Nevertheless, the legitimate and irrational have equal power in holding us back. I have taken steps to address one of my irrational hurdles. 

I know that it is time for me to start making more videos, but I am very insecure about the way my teeth look on camera. I used to have straight teeth but I didn’t wear my retainer and my teeth are crooked again. Everyone says I’m crazy. I know it’s ridiculous but it still has a hold on me.

The solution: To address this, I bought a $10 lavalier mic with an extra long cord so that I could move the camera further back—which makes my teeth a non-issue for me. I know, it’s crazy. But it helps me move forward.

Anyway, small lessons and actions can make a really big difference in helping us move our work forward. I am praying for you all in 2024 that God would show Himself mighty on each of your behalf.

Be blessed and have a fantastic holiday!!